Sanic.sex
I'm a totally cool Sonic brah much like everyone else, I friggin' hate the new games, but I don't mind playing Roblox the Hyper-Realistic Building Game. I don't think I've ever played glitchy or hacked or even games that have poop marks before, though I don't think I want to play any after the experience I had... I'm dead, serious... It all started on a nice beautiful summer morning, I was playing Sonic Unleashed, A.K.A The Clusterfrick of Furry Frick FRUURURRR!!! (I lik how u get 2 explore le towns in it OwO) until I noticed, out of my peripheral HDTV Beta 2000 Robo-vision, that the mailman had arrived and put something in my mailbox as usual and left. I paused my game to go see what I got in the mail... The only thing in the Mailbox was a CD in case for computers so you need to heal, watch out for the cars! I looked at the note first and realized it was from my dear friend Kyle (Let's just call him that), whomst've (haha funny meme) I hadn't heard from in 2 weeks. I know that because I recognized his handwriting, though what was weird is how it looked; it looked like it was written by a computer. This is what he wrote... "Look I have something... kind of important t-to say. It's about th-the game... Don't, Uh, Eh. Don't, Don't, just, *laughter* this is.. This is probably looking pretty ridiculous... Don't tell anyone about this game. You wanna.. Don't, don't bring attention to yourself. Destroy- destroy the game. Destroy the game... before... it's too late. What I'm saying is... is get out of this, while you still can. Just, don't- don't- no. You probably- no I'm not someone trapped inside the game, that would be ridiculous, no um.. I can't... this is... I'm not... the game was... kind of... I don't know what to say. Just... Just trust me. We gotta... This isn't... This seems... I me- I mean it seems... They'd know I.. They intentionally... that's... I guess... I can't- They can't tell you, and some... stuff is classified. I can't say it. I wish I could say more. I can't talk normally. Just... close the program. Destroy it. Never come back. Please... DESTROY THE FREAKIN' GAME!!! BREAK IT! GRAB YOUR HAMMER, SMASH IT IN BILLIONS OF PIECES!!! (sobs) OH PLEASE!!!! DO IT! Kyle" Well, that was certainly weird. Even though I didn't do what he asked me. I didn't think that a simple gaming disc would do anything bad to him, after all it's just a game right? Boy, was I wrong about that darn disc cuz I'm a redneck from Alabama! YEEEEEHAAAAW!!!!! AAAAAANY'''way, I looked at the disc and it looks like any ordinary computer CD-I Mah Boi Spagetti Toast Dinner, except it had a black marker on it written "SONIC.EXE 300 MB REALLY SCARY ACTUAL FILENAME NOT CLICKBAIT", and it was much unlike Kyle's handwriting, meaning that he must've gotten it from someone else, like a computer nerd. When I saw "SONIC" on the writing of the CD, I was actually soo happy I just wanna hug someone! (YAY!!! YAAY WHAT'S THIS?) I went up to my room and turned on my computer and put the disc in and installed the game. When the title screen popped up I noticed that it was the first Sonic game, I was like "yass, like I wanna go to the mall" (The friggin' mall sherrif) Because like I said earlier I liked the classics. The first thing I noticed that was out of place was when I pressed start, there's was a split second frame when I saw the title image turned into something much different, something that I now consider horrifying, before cutting to black. I remember what the image looked like in that split second before the game cut to black; The hyper-realistic sky had darkened, the hyper-realistic title emblem was hyper-realistically rusted and ruined, the SEGA 1991 was now instead SEGA 666, and the hyper-realistic water had turned red, like blood, except it looked hyper-realistic. But the freakiest thing that was in that split second frame was Sonic, his eyes were pitch black and bleeding with two glowing red dots staring RIGHT AT ME!!!! THE THING!! IT WAS STARING INTO MY SOULLL!!! OH PLEDGE!!! OH MAMA!!!! MY KID RIDER!!!!! And then another weird thing happened, the save file select screen from Sonic the Hedgehog 3 popped up, and I was like "WTF?1!? 0MG T3H G4M3 15 P0WNZR3D XD!!!!!11!", anyway, then I notice something off, the background was the dark cloudy sky of the Bad Stinky Place, and there were only three save files. The music was that creepy Caverns of Winter music from Earthbound, only it was extended and seemed to have been in reverse. And the image for the save file where you see a preview of the level you're on is just rainbow static for all three files. What freaked me out more was the character selectorz, it showed only Tootles, Knuckles and to my surprise, Pingas! Now I was sure that something was up, I mean, how can you play as Pingas in a classic Sonic game, for '''CRYING OUT LOUD WHERE'S YOUR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!?!?!?! That's when I realized that this wasn't a glitchy game, it was a hacked packed unlimited robux vbux scam frickery clusterwhat game. Yeah it definitely looked hacked, it was really spoopy, but as a smart epic gamer, I wasn't scared (or at least I tried not to be), I told myself that it was just a hacked packed macked smacked rhymin' is fun game and there's nothing wrong with that. Anyways, shaking off the creeped out big, black, PAYYY!! I picked File 1 and chose Le Furry and when I selected and got started. The game froze for about 5 seconds and I heard a creepy pixelated laugh that sounded an awful lot like that Kefkakafkekfekefkeakfkakekfkekakaka guy from Final Fantasy 69 before cutting to black. The screen stayed black for about 10 seconds or more, then it showed the typical level title thingy... I guess, except the simplistic shapes were different shades of red and the text showed only "HILL, ACT 1 TAKE 1 MOVE FORWARD". The screen faded in and the level title vanished revealing TaiaT in the Green Hill Zone from Sonic 1, the music was different though, it sounded like a peaceful melody in reverse. (IT'S NOT A PEACFUL MELODY YOU IDIOT LOOK AT THE MUSIC SHEET) Anyway I started playing and had TaT start running like you would in any of the classic Sonic games, what was odd was that as le monke was running along the level there was nothing but flat ground and a few trees for 5 minutes, that was when the peaceful music started to lower below inside no fast mah grammar sux I suddenly saw something and I stopped to see what it was; it was one of the small animals lying de-OH NO NO NO NOOOOO!!!! YOU CAN'T, SHOW THAT!!! After a minute passed after the music stopped, Tails was running up a hill and then BLAH BLAH BLEEEH!!! Suddenly in I saw Sonic grab Tail's neck in a brutal way. Sonic then said "What are you doing here?!". It stayed black for about 7 seconds and then white text appeared forming a message, saying, "H'e'''wwo. I am a Kawaii '''OWO UWU" At this point I was creeped out, I didn't want to continue with the game, but my curiosity got the better of me when I was taken to a different level with the level title now saying "LE DUMB GAME". This time I was in the Angel Island level from Sonic 3 and it looked like everything was underwater. Tails looked as though he was scared out of his wit- he didn't even join our team this time! Aww Seriously?! = (SPLAT) = Make Good Pictures Look Great! So I pressed down on the arrow key as hard as I could and made him run as fast as he could, a pixelated version of that creepy theme when you meet Shadow at the ARK as Robotnik from SA8-2000 B.C. Version 4.0 Beta Frick. Suddenly I heard that creepy laugh again... that awful, Kefakaekaakekfkekfkekfkfkesdimsdaledimmadomedimsdimmadimmadimsdimsdaledimmasdaledimma'dimmadimma'' DoMe laugh... right after 10 seconds have passed as I helped Tails run through the forest, and then I started seeing flashes of 9/11 atta(REJECTED)' The music changed to that suspenseful drowning jingle as I see Sonic behind Tails slowly gaining up on him FLYING; Sonic wasn't running, he was actually FLYING! The FLYING pose HIS sprite WAS making LOOKED very SIMALO'O''O''OO''OO'O'O''' THIS KONG, HAS A ''FUNNY, FACE'' Suddenly when Tails tripped (another cut scene) the music stopped and Sonic vanished. Tails laid there and started crying for 15 seconds WAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!-'''SHUT UP!!! Sonic appeared right in front of Tails and Tails looked up in hORRrRrRRrrRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Blood started to come down those blackened eyes of Sonic's as a gift. you could only pay for just $19'.'''99! Just in a split second. The text returned only THIS KO-O-O-O- it said '"y'u a''re no f''a''s''t" and then that god-awful laugh came with it. I was so shocked by what had happened...did Sonic murder Tails? No, he couldn't have... He and Tails are supposed to be best friends, right? Why did Sonic do that to him? Jessie was who?!? Baba Is You?!? Who?!? Where?! When?! Why?!? How?!? '''WHAT IS GOING ON??!?!?!!! I shook the shock off as I was brought back to the character select, the save file that had Tails was different; Tails was no longer in the box itself but... ♫in an old screen from the past.♫ ♫Trapped in a box with self despair.♫ ♫I will keep on fighting 'till the end.♫ ♫You can try, you can try, but you can't eat our wieners.♫ ♫Do not fricking die, Do not fricking fly, fricking fly.♫ ♫Assemble or you will tremble! You did B.F.B while I was '''''GONE?!? GONE?!? GO-''GO''-''G''-''G''-''G''-''G''- = BOOM!!! = The laugh came again and the screen cut to black again and stayed there for another 10 seconds, THIS KO-NOPE! the level said "COME BACK HERE!!!". I was really freaked out by now, I couldn't really tell if this was a glitch, or a hack, or some kind of sick twisted Neanderthal somethingmajigger... or anything really. But despite my fear of what happened next, I kept playing. The next level looked much different, it had the ground of the Metal zone, but the sky background looked like the main menu; it had the dark reddish, raddish, IRISH!!! But it was the music that creeped me out the most: It sounded like Giygas' theme right after you beat Pokey Pokey Do the Doki Doki and do the dinosaur. He ran down the straight pathway in this dark level, and as he did the screen started to flicker red static a couple times and then that maddening laugh came again. Then after a few seconds of running I notice several Teddy bears on the metallic ground, I felt a growing sense of fear again thinking something horrible is going to happen to Nookless. He looked nauseated walking down this blood-stained road, but I still kept him going. Suddenly as Knuckles ran, Sonic appeared right in front of him with those black and red eyes and then red static appeared again, when the static vanished showing nothing but black screen with text saying "B''o''O!", I was now scared, Sonic found Jessie was who?! Anyway red static came again and then I was back to the level, Knuckles looked like he was panickK'K'''ing, and Sonic was nowhere to be found. And this time that high-pitched squealing pig noise was playing. Was this some kind of boss battle with Sonic? I hoped to God it wasn't, honestly. Suddenly Sonic appeared right behind Knuckles in what appeared to be pixelated black smoke, I made Knuckles turn and then punch Sonic, but Sonic vanished in black pixelated smoke before I could even land a hit, that terrible laugh went off again. Then Sonic appeared behind Knuckles again and then I made him punch again, and Sonic vanished again laughing. Knuckles was panicking even more, and even I felt like I was going crazy, Sonic was practically playing with us, he was playing a sick twisted little mind game with me and Knuckles... Another cut scene played as Knuckled fell to his knees and clutched his head sobbing, I felt his agony, Sonic was actually driving us '''BOTH CRAZYYYY! OOHHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOO!!!' (i'm a frickin' hazbin hotel demon) And then in a split second Sonic lunged at Knuckles and the screen went black with another distorted screeching noise that lasted for at least 3 seconds. Another text message appeared, "So many souls to play with, so little time... would you agree? Like, I was friends with- (WE AIN'T GOING THROUGH A FRIGGIN CONVERSATION BETWEEN SATAN AND STYGAL) What the h*ll... Just what the f*ck is going on? Woah woah woah hey hey! Watch that mouth! I was brought back to the main menu and this time the second file box had Knuckles in the TV screen, his red fur had darkened to a reddish raddish IRISH!!! !!!HSIRI B''O''O'''BIEZZ' So I shut off the game and took a break. I took a nap, wish I hadn't, 'cause I then began to have the most disturbing nightmare, I was under the light given off by a lamp that hung high above my head. I could hear the Quotes of Echo Child nearby. He saying stuff like, "Open!" and "Bet you can't even see me anywhere!" and "I, am, glowy!" Their cries died out as I then heard Sonic laugh, his laugh... it was the Puppet from EthGoesBoom laughing. "You're a lot fun to play with kid, just like your friend Kyle, though he didn't last long '''MWAHAHAHAHA!!!'" I was scared and looking around for the source of the voice... "Won't be long now until you join EVERYONE!!! '''No seriously, I GAVE LIFE! '''MWAHAHAAHAHAAA!!!!" I saw him flying towards me... Except Sonic didn't look like the Sonic I saw in that split second image, he looked like a character Vivziepop would draw. (I'm referring to the person who made Hazbin Hotel.) "Come On Join me!" He started to have a sing along that sounds like it was made by Disney... ♫If you wanna be a member, of our crew then I'll take you through, what it is like.♫ ♫We'll boil some heads♫ ♫''And cut the wires''♫ ♫''And we will tell you why!!!!!!!!!!!!♫ The song then switched to Teppich Fliegen. ''♫Teppich fliegen, das ist logisch♫ ''♫Hochprozetig ökologisch♫ ♫Macht nicht Lärm und nicht Gestank♫ ♫Braucht nicht Rotor oder Tank♫ ♫Auch nicht Funkgerät und Tower!♫ ♫Wer Teppich fliegt ist einfach schlauer♫ When Aladdin flew to my face, I woke up with a fright, and a bump, in the night. Then you must beware, A '''HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! '''ok sorry it isn't Halloween... After a couple of hours I decided to continue playing the game. I don’t know why, but I had to know, I had to figure out why this was happening... So I turned on the computer, turned on the game and selected Pingas next. I still thought that was WACKA WACKA, but anyway the level title appeared again and this time it said "YaYaY", which I found really stR''E'AAARRR'. This time I was in some kind of hallway, didn't really look like it was from any of the classic Sonic games, though it has the pixelated style; the floor was shiny and checkered, the walls were a dark greyish purple with animated candlelight’s and a few dark bloodstains here and there and everywhere, funny things are everywhere! Then I stop at a long flight of stairs leading downward, now I was nervous, even Pingas seemed unsure of himself, though I pressed onward. As I led him down the stairs, I noticed that the walls have gotten darker and more reddish raddish IRI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-IT'S ME! MUGMAN! the red torches are now an eerie blue. like Bill Cipher's flames. Then we landed onto another hallway, this one was longer than the last one (or at least it felt like it) and then we headed down another flight of stairs down, this one was much longer, took at least 1 full minute. And then I heard that horrid KefakakakkddhhgjfhNOPE laugh again and then the music slowly faded until it was quiet, as it did the walls turned more dark and the torches were a black flame forever burning bright. -Ravensoul When Robotnik landed onto the 3rd hallway, I noticed he now looked really creeped out, though he tried to hide it, I couldn't blame him, I was scared too. Suddenly, Sonic popped right in front of Robotnik the same way he did Knuckles and then red static. The red static lasted for about 15 second and then it showed me a most unpleasant image... The image showed a hyper-realistic image of Sonic, and when I say hyper-realistic, I mean it's so hyper-realistic it's hyper-realistically hyper-realistic. Then it stopped and showed nothing but black screen. As I sat there staring at the black screen, one last text came up. "Rhombus rhombus...Time for the 2nd round..." The KeK laugh, now sounding more clear as if Sonic was right behind me, played again 3 times as I looked at that text in shock and confusion. I can't get the game outta my computer! I-it's just stuck! I can't, like, I, THE DETECTOR IS IN THE MACHINE! After I sat there for 25 seconds I heard a voice right behind me... "M'm'''M'm'M'''m'…'...'G'o'''O'b'i'''e'Z'z'''Z'..'." I turned around to see where the voice came from, and what I saw made me scream... Sitting on my bed... staring right at me... ... Was a skeleton that popped out and killed me. = ''TEH END! = Category:Cringe